LifeStory

Closer than my Skin

My mother doesn't like tattoos. She professes it like the gospel, but she has figured out how to live with them. My brother, Robert, who took our family's tattoo virginity, couldn't have picked a more intense image to have inscribed on this arm: A ginormous skull on his left arm. Totally badass.  It looked awesome. I was always in favor of it because for my brother, it held such deep significance (and I just think tattoos are awesome, so!). Most people would probably say that their tattoos hold deep significance for them (with the exception of that one time when you got drunk, or got it on a dare, or if it is the name of an ex). I've had my…

LoveRelationships

A Desperate Lover

I tend to feel lonely when I have no reason to. I know this is not an uncommon feeling, and I am keenly aware that when I feel this way that there are proper ways to respond to these negative emotions, lest I slip into a cycle of sadness that I fail to pull myself out of. But I focus on my want, the immediate, visceral desire that seems to invade my bones like some sort of aggressive disease. I want someone to hold me. I want someone to tell me I’m something. I want someone to share my life with. Stuff we’ve all said. Stuff we’ll probably keep saying. But my initial response to all that is to ask,…

journeyLife

I’m gonna make this year my bi… bestie

“This year I am going to…” You know how many times I have said this? Plenty of times. And do you know how many times the tasks which followed those words have started with such promise and then ended in such quiet disappointment? So. Many. Times. You see, I think being active is awesome, but my diet sucks. And each time I say that I will eat better, it ends up falling away the second someone suggests barbeque. I also really like reading, and I would read more, but sometimes twitter is just hilarious. Sigh… the struggle. This year I want it to be different. Not so much that I want to stop doing things, but I want to finish…

journey

Haters Gonna Hate

I’ll just check it one more time before I get off the computer. Said every person who has done any sort of fundraising. We are a tad obsessive. We check and we check and nothing moves and we are just... drives us bonkers. Let me tell you what, raising money for anything is hard. It is especially hard when it is for mission work. I’ve sent letters, emails, had phone conversations, coffee dates, and for weeks on end, this little bar on my fundraising page sat at a whopping $430 of $9950. And as my date for moving to GA, and for CGA to start moved closer, a mere 19 days away, I started to panic. God, I know you…

LifeUncategorized

Linger with me…

I hosted my first dinner party at age 20. I felt like I was such an adult because I had prepared everything, dressed up, hung out, got the good wine (from my friend who was old enough to buy it), and invited a a few close friends over. Lemon pepper chicken with roasted, yukon gold potatoes. A salad made from the vegetables grown on our back deck. French bread, lightly toasted with olive oil and basil. I was one classy mucka mucka. The food by itself was some what of a miracle because I was just beginning to delve into exploring the culinary arts, and this night happened before the advent of Pinterest. Where would us shmucks be without it?…

journeyLifeMiniBlogs

Let Me Go

A year ago, I stood on a rooftop in Albania, looking up at the moon, cigarette in my hand and tears streaming down my face. The air was chilly as it usually was in the early evening, and the entirety of who I was simply ached. I needed something. I was missing something. What I had done for years was simply not doing it for me anymore. I could see everyone on my squad sitting in the distance, learning more about each other and creating bonds that I was jealous of because I couldn't be honest with them. I couldn't be honest about how much I was hurting, how much I was broken. 'Cause being a Christian was about being…

journeyLife

Stop Wasting God’s Time

The American Dream is kind of misleading. It started off in the early days of our country that you could come to a new place, start over, make a life for you and your family. I think it has been reworked a bit into something that is more reflective of the desire of our culture and less about its original ideals. Now, the American Dream says that if you work hard, you can get what you want. We can look at the news and see that it is not true. Thousands of undocumented people work their tail off only to sit in the fear of deportation. College students sit in their cubicle jobs and watching their dreams waste away. And…